


Wrong Number

by Avivastef



Category: Alex Rider (TV 2020), Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: Wrong number, alex is a shit, alex is annoying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:55:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27154144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avivastef/pseuds/Avivastef
Summary: Alex gets a phone call...and has some fun
Comments: 9
Kudos: 43





	Wrong Number

**Author's Note:**

> this is just some good shit.
> 
> dialogue from 'Wrong Number' Hawks animatic
> 
> So this is the original by Jay Larson Stand Up  
> https://youtu.be/fFO0CkSiZfI
> 
> And this is the Hawks animatic  
> https://youtu.be/FebdiP-pIVc

Cell-Phone rings you don’t know the number what do you do?

“IGNORE IT”

Right ignore, it send it to voicemail, yeah, no not this guy.

I answer it.

Yeah exactly.

Opportunity, Potential. Who Knows! Who knows what it is? 

The other day I was driving down the 405, traffic. Phone rings, 917 New York. I’m like OOOH! I don’t know the number.

I hit talk I go 'hello?'

Guy on the other line goes “hey Bruce, what’s going on?”

My names Alex, not Bruce. 

So clearly, I go ‘Nothing much man what’s going on by you?’

And he goes “I’ll tell you what’s going on, I just got an email about the budget it’s supposed to be 15,000 now its 10. I would like to know what the fuck is going on”

And I grab the steering wheel like alright Focus. Fucking focus Alex, focus right now.  
Your name is Bruce, there’s a budget it’s 15,000 now it’s 10 no one’s happy about it. get go with this, go with this!

I didn’t know much I only knew what he told me, so I said it right back ‘10,000 it’s supposed to be 15,000!’ 

He went “Yeah well I just got an email and now it’s 10.”

And I go ‘hey Yo, I don’t know what to tell you man I’m on the road right now I haven’t even seen the email.’

He goes “ARE YOU BEHIND THIS!? DID YOU SEND IT OUT!?”

Jeez. Giving Bruce so attitude you know what I mean. And there’s no way I’m taking that, there’s no way. 

And I go ‘listen bro the budget was 15,000 we had a couple extra expenses it went up to 16,200 I reworked it got down to 14,700 we had 300 to play with, I called it 15 I sent it out’

He goes “YEAH WELL NOW IT’S 10!!!”

I was like Oh my god that worked! Stay focused, stay focused.

I’m not even enjoying it; you know what I mean. I can’t even laugh, I have to stay, I’m like in it. I’m literally in it. I’m just in it 

He goes “Did Ben OK this?!” 

Now he’s throwing Ben at me, yeah.  
So, I go ‘listen I took it to Ben he said it looked fine but I knew that was my ass on the line so I ran it by Jennifer just in case…she said it looked good, I sent it out’

“YEAH WELL NOW IT’S 10!!”

And I was like, this guy has no idea what’s going on over there, he hasn’t talked to Ben, he hasn’t talked to Jennifer I just made her up. Clearly, he’s not spoken to Bruce.

He goes “listen man what are we going to do about this?”

I go ‘bro, I’m on the road right now I haven’t even seen the email. Why don’t you call Ben check in with him see what’s going on and give me a call back’?

Literally like throwing the fishing line out there, like please say yes because that phone call return is going to be amazing!”

And he goes, he goes “listen why don’t we wait till you get home, you check the email, you call Ben you call me back”

I go ‘Nah nah bro, Ben knows way more about this than I do, give him a call. Call me back’

He goes “ok” and hangs up the phone. 

To which I explode with euphoria. Because there’s a small business in New York somewhere that’s crumbling to the ground over $5,000. No one can find Bruce, no one’s talked to Ben and they don’t know who the hell Jennifer is. 

I get home I’m so excited, I call some friends tell them what happened. 

I think to my self ‘you know what I’m gonna save this guys number, give him a call in a couple days just to check in, see where we’re at.

I save the number in my phone under ‘Random Guy’. He’s a random guy. 

I don’t think about it, couple days pass, no big deal. Chilling on my couch watching the game. Phone rings dinning room table. Watching the game get up, pick up the phone, look down. Says Random Guy.

And I think to myself Random Guy?

I don’t know any Random Guy.

Who the heck is Random Guy?

And I was like OOOH! Random Guy!

Now I’m freaked out, I’m at my house, they know where I’m at.

People’s, people’s lives have been affected. 

But this is who I am, you know. 

Man, I started this thing I’m gonna see it through till the end.

I put in my earbuds trying to get distance, let’s get some distance.

I hit talk I go ‘Hello’

Same guy goes “Hey Ben, what’s going on?”

Now he’s calling me Ben.

He knows what’s up! But I’m not gonna cave. You know what I mean?

And I go ‘nothing much man what’s going on by you?’

And he goes “listen I’m on conference call with Janel and Marie”

Like I’m gonna back down from Janel and Marie

So, I go ‘Uh, hey ladies. Welcome to the call’

As if to say WELCOME TO THE SHOW! HERE WE GO! How long are we gonna lie for? How long do you want me to lie? How far do you want me to go? Because I’m gonna go all the way.

Marie, she takes the lead she goes “hey Ben what time is it by you?”

And I check the clock and it’s 5:30 and they’re a New York company so I go ‘8:30’

Like sprinkling more lies in.

Like I can fool ‘em. I can fool ‘em  
.  
She goes “Really? What’s the weather like?”

it's raining, like it always is. And I go ‘weather’s nice, weather’s nice’

She goes “Really? This doesn’t sound like Ben”

And I go ‘Yeah? Who’s it sound like?”

And the guy who called both times he chirps, and he goes “SOUNDS LIKE BRUCE! IT SOUNDS LIKE BRUCE!”

Like he’s gonna blow this case right open, you know?

And I go ‘Guys, this isn’t Ben, and this isn’t Bruce’

And Marie goes “Who is this?”

And I was like ‘I’m just some dude who had nothing better to do than to mess with you guys’

Marie did not like that she got pissed she started yelling at me “WE’RE A SMALL BUSINESS TRYING!”

And I was like ‘yeah I know’

She’s like “YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE”

I’m like ‘Yeah, a little bit’

She goes “LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING!”

And I’m like ‘NO YOU LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING!’

And she goes “WHAT!?”

And I go ‘where we at with the budget?’

~End


End file.
